Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
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