dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
