I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I FOUND THE LEGS
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
