She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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