Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
