You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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