Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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