I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
