omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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