I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
