You're so nebulous sometimes
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
