she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
