Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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