she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
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