I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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