READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I just googled if crying burns calories
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I need moral support for this bender
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Randomize
