If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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