She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Randomize
