I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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