i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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