once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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