If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
