i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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