Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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