Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
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