if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
