I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
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