i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
