Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
