barbara walters just said penis...
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
