She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
