So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Its about making memories worth repressing
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
