I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Randomize
