i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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