my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Pooping to opera.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
