i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Are we still banned from the library?
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
