I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
