dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Randomize
