I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
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