in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
i need some magic done to my vagina
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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