thus making me awesome and them whores
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
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