They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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