my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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