u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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