You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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