Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
