Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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