we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Randomize
