Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Randomize
