i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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